McLaggen's Woman
by Lady Evora
Summary: Clearly, a disturbed soul having a lark must have arranged the unfortunate matches for Wizarding Britain's newly enacted Pairing Ceremony. In Draco Malfoy's opinion, it was beyond atrocious. Marriage-law Oneshot


Hello, my dears! So, I know I'm supposed to be working on my other fics (I promise I still am) but I came across this little marriage-law oneshot last night. Turns out I wrote it in one evening and then promptly forgot about it for ages so this was a wonderful surprise.

Please forgive any mistakes. Sometimes I like to keep my weird writing style quirks despite knowing they're technically incorrect. Polite comments are always welcome and very much treasured.

Thank you for reading!

…...

Hogwarts' Great Hall was the poorly chosen site of the Ministry's newly enacted Pairing Ceremony. The unfortunate, fertile yet unmarried, adult citizens of Wizarding Britain had been legally required to present themselves at their alma mater that morning. Funneled into a very dull and anticlimactic queue, they were assured of being mystically well-matched with the person who would be their future spouse.

Clearly, a disturbed soul having a lark must have arranged things because the pairings were beyond atrocious.

Draco crossed his arms where he stood and valiantly strove to make his uncomfortable slouch appear haughty and disinterested. He was quite sure that, while he was admittedly intimidating and under the right circumstances possibly even awe-inspiring, he wasn't actually scary. Unfortunately, his Ministry-mandated fiance didn't share his opinion.

The little sandy-haired woman cowered beside him. She gripped her spindly arms tightly across herself as if to shield herself from his view and wouldn't even dare to meet his gaze. The poor thing was terrified.

Out of the corner of his eye, he watched her shiver. Draco curled his lip and sighed.

It was utterly distasteful. There was no way he could work up an attraction to someone who behaved like prey. He was a Malfoy for Merlin's sake. By right of birth, he deserved only the best. Someone so clearly weak was decidedly not going to cut it.

A scuffle several meters to his right brought his attention to another unhappy new couple.

Chestnut curls bounced as the young woman leaped away from her idiotic male partner. The fool shot out a grubby hand to yank her back but she easily evaded, smacking his hand away and issuing a clear warning, "I did not give your permission to touch me, you imbecile!"

Her haughty voice was less shrill than Draco remembered despite her obvious fury. The curly mass spilling wildly around her shoulders was pleasing in a freshly ravished sort of way. What had been a bushy brown cloud around her head when they were children had matured into artless spirals that gleamed attractively in the light as she spun to swat angrily again at the wandering hands of her ridiculous suitor.

Hermione Granger would never cower from him as his own pale slip of a partner did. She'd rally and fight and struggle ferociously until she made her circumstances work in her favor. She would never be prey.

Draco glared at her unbearable dolt of a fiance. The troll didn't deserve her. A woman so strong and vibrant would never welcome marriage to a foul clinging wretch like McLaggen.

The fool tried to overpower her once more with his slightly taller build, as if he reasoned he could win her over with blunt force. Her quick reaction made Draco grin toothily when the sharp crack of her open hand across the moron's smarmy face drew the attention of the rest of the room.

"I demand a new partner!" Granger shouted at the Ministry representative overseeing the proceedings.

"Miss, your perfect match has already been discerned." The sweaty little man tried to appease but her formidable steady glare was already causing him to wilt.

"This one is a lech." She interrupted, waving a dismissive hand toward McLaggen. Then she declared with all the haughty disdain she contained, "Nothing from this one will ever be allowed inside me."

"The Ministry has done it's best to create pairs based on complementary magical power that have the potential to propagate our species in this dwindling era." The man paraphrased from his earlier monotonous spiel.

"Don't be insulting." She scoffed, inching further to her left, away from McLaggen.

"I beg your pardon, madam?"

"She obviously means," Draco blurted, drawing the attention of the room, "There is no way McLaggen has enough magical ability to be comparable to hers."

He met her startled brown eyes before scowling at her awful match. "The tosser has always been a weak little twerp. No one in their right mind would match them together."

"Thank you, Malfoy." She shot him an appreciative glance that he returned with a smirk.

"Be that as it may, the Ministry has passed this amendment that will enforce marriages to be finalized by the end of the month."

"What if we marry someone else before then?" Granger challenged.

The man paused and looked toward the ceiling while he mulled it over. "I suppose there's nothing to be done, in that case. The married couple would still be required to carry out the childbearing clause but I see no legal reason the pair would be prohibited from wedding a person of their choice."

Several of the more clever people present who had been avidly listening quickly scattered, many grabbing a friend before rushing out of the Hall.

"Malfoy?" Granger asked, her soft tone drawing him further away from his still cowering partner. "Do you intend to marry her?"

"No." He immediately replied and rolled his eyes when he saw the sandy-haired girl deflate in relief.

"In that case," She continued bluntly, her sharp brown eyes glued to his face, "Would you like to marry me?"

Graceless choking and stammering bubbled out of McLaggen behind her but the pair easily ignored his antics.

Draco took a deep breath, attempting to hide the fact his heart wanted to leap out of his chest and his palms were tingling. He stepped closer to her still, eyes wide and hungry despite his calmly detached tone. "Yes, Granger, I think I would."

"But she's my woman!" McLaggen suddenly burst then began to whine most unbecomingly. "You can't have her. Go get your own!"

Granger hissed and finally resorted to tossing a silencing spell in his general direction.

"Too bad, McLaggen." Draco laughed, feeling lighter than he had in years. "She's a Malfoy bride now. You're out of luck."

He offered her his arm and a conspiratorial smile. "Want to elope before the papers get wind of things?"

"Oh, yes, please!" Granger hopped in enthusiastic agreement then began to tug him from the Hall. "Good idea, Malfoy. I know just the place."

"You don't need to stop and get a fancy dress or something first?"

"Silly, I'm a witch," She giggled, "I'll just transfigure a temporary one when we get there. It's not so hard."

"I was right. You're much too powerful for a worm like McLaggen."

"Of course!" Granger chuckled then wrinkled her nose in commiseration. "Your frightened little match couldn't hold a candle to you either."

"I don't think I'm quite scary enough to cause that level of terror, do you?"

"Give the poor girl a break. She was probably overwhelmed."

"I can be overwhelming." He confessed centimeters from her ear, making sure his breath ghosted teasingly across her skin. "Think you can handle me, Granger?"

She threw her head back in a hearty laugh so uninhibited it took his breath away. "We'll see which one of us does the overwhelming tonight, I suspect."

He made an intrigued noise and smirked. "I like your attitude, Granger."

"Now, you look fancy enough as it is in all that black so how about we just change the color of your shirt?" She waved her wand at his torso as they sauntered down the castle steps, easily bleeding the color from his dark shirt. Then Granger poked about at his newly white collar with her free hand and undid the top button before appearing satisfied.

"Are we being too rash?" He asked in a sudden fit of conscience. He really didn't want to tie himself to an unwilling witch for the foreseeable future.

"The Ministry is rash. We are being sensible given our circumstances."

Draco stared at her expectantly and felt the need for a more thorough response.

She sighed. "Malfoy, I know you. We'll tease and fight -"

"And probably have amazing makeup sex." He couldn't resist adding with a hint of a playful smile.

"Yes, that too." She smirked, startling him pleasantly with her easy admission. "We'll be fine. We're both too ambitious to settle for anyone else we know."

He narrowed his silver eyes at her in sudden realization. "You already wanted me, didn't you, Granger."

"Please, Malfoy." She mimicked his drawl spectacularly. "We all know you've had a thing for me since I punched you in Third Year. At work you can't even manage to keep your eyes to yourself."

"You didn't deny it." He grinned.

"You didn't either." She snuck closer, tilting her face up at him and raised a dark eyebrow in wordless challenge.

Draco wrapped a possessive arm around her trim waist as they hustled toward the boundary wards. "I'll have you singing my praises by tonight, witch."

"Promises." She taunted playfully and pressed herself more intimately into his side.

Draco spun her fully into his arms at the boundary, dipping his head to try to steal a first kiss. She turned her head at the last moment so his lips grazed her cheek instead.

"You won't make this easy for me, will you?" He murmured, unable to hold back from pressing soft kisses along the smooth column of her neck.

She giggled and arched sinuously into his caress then speared her slim fingers into his pale hair to draw his eyes back to lock on hers.

"Where's the fun in that?"


End file.
